That is my mantra this year. It came to me when I was headed somewhere to do something that I had wanted to do, and yet I was feeling annoyed about it because traffic was heavy and overwhelming. I then gave myself a few moments of self-empathy where I connected to the deeper needs that were propelling me to do the thing in the first place. In an instant, my annoyance and looming resentment slipped away and I felt happy and relaxed.
As soon as I remember that I have choice and I connect with the needs behind my actions, my resentments evaporate. Sometimes, I will change my action when I connect with the underlying needs, or I ask the other person (if there is someone else involved) if we can do something different.
Do something different? Like what, you may ask?
Start the activity a little later, do it tomorrow, do it earlier, do something else entirely different, invite someone else to join us, do it for a shorter period of time, do it for a longer period of time, do it after I’ve had time for a 15-minute nap…
The possibilities are endless. They really are.
In this particular moment of mine, I chose to send a text to let the group know I was running 15 minutes behind schedule… but I still could not relax. So, five minutes later, I decided to send another text with a new ETA of 30 minutes behind schedule. I instantly relaxed. I believed that I had plenty of time to meet the 30-minute deadline, which allowed me to let go of my annoyance that I was running late, helped me to relax behind the wheel, breathe deeply, and find a way to navigate the heavy traffic flow with ease.
I have choice…
The trick for me is to first remember that I have choice.
Second, to connect with needs.
Third, to take 100% responsibility for my next actions.
It sounds easy, and I know it’s not. Either way, this is where I am headed this year. I am in 100% choice and it is my job to remember it.
I have choice…
And so do you. May we remember it this year as often as possible, no matter what other people do.
Sending warmth your way…