Welcome to the last month of the year!
Over the past week, I have been reflecting on what my focus was this year and where I want to head in 2022. The winter Solstice – which is December 21 – reminds me to turn inward to find the nourishment I need to grow and evolve. It’s a kind of turning point for me, and I see it as sacred and critical.
As I write this, I realize that I’m right on track!
I usually set my intention for the New Year in early January. One of my private intentions for 2021 was to step up my level of authenticity and co-holding of my relationships.
This pledge has been challenging to live… I had several conversations over the year that were painful for me and others for whom I cared deeply. Sometimes I felt good about how I expressed myself and my ability to hear others, and other times I mourned the way I expressed myself because the level of pain I was feeling was greater than my ability to hold others empathically.
Sometimes I was in awe at how I and another person could navigate really painful topics with grace. There are some relationships like this that are bigger than the pain we share, and more resilient than our desires to run when discomfort presents itself.
These are the relationships that I especially cherish.
So, why take such risk in relationships? None of us are completely honest. I wouldn’t tell someone that their outfit or hair or home didn’t meet my need for beauty, for instance, though it might be an honest statement.
I spoke up because there was something in each relationship that was so compelling it was affecting my ability to connect with or enjoy… something that tugged so greatly that I couldn’t let it go: something in the relationship that mattered so much that I was willing to risk my authenticity.
These conversations were painful, yes, but also liberating because I:
- Took greater responsibility for expressing my needs
- Discovered old trauma that I have begun to heal bit by bit
- Have greater inner clarity and connection to what matters to me, and
- Am stepping into life with even greater purpose.
Through all of it I have discovered the existence of an abundance of gifts if I’m willing to dive in and mine for them. In fact, that is how I plan to spend this month and the Solstice: with further internal mining in an effort to prepare myself for 2022.
Maybe I will meet you there!
Wishing you peace…
inspiring! I was in the same boat. reflecting on some relationships. how they help me to grow, be myself? or they make me face, not connected. and although it was a hard decision to leave a space and put boundries. but it showed me the gift of being “authentic”, and how authenticity is valuable